Friday, November 13, 2009

ha ha ha ha ha

I just happened across this and laughed hysterically about it. So it's either really really funny...or it's just me being up to late and everything is funny. Pretty sure I've heard these things all about a million times. The only one left out would be when some random person you don't even know says, "Ooooo twins! You know my great aunt's ex-husband was a twin!" Or something like that. Seriously...what are you supposed to say to that? "Umm...that's amazing, wow." The colored ones are the ones I've heard the most.


The Top 15 Stupid Things People Say to Parents of Twins
15. "I could never do it." (Oh really. What would you do? Are you suggesting I put them on the curb with signs around their necks that say, "Free to a good home. My mom can't do it"?)

14. "Do they have different personalities?" (No. They are the same human being divided into two parts.)

13. Said by a stranger, "They're identical, right?" Mom answers, "No. They're fraternal." Stranger response, "They are NOT!" (OK. You're right. I have no idea what I'm talking about. These are not my children. I thought it would be fun to borrow them from a mom down at Baby Gap. It's been more than an hour. I guess I should return them.)

12. "Are they 'paternal' twins?" (Yes. They have a father. There was only one virgin birth.)

11. "Just wait till they're older. It only gets harder." (Thank you. I woke up this morning hoping I'd receive a word of discouragement while pushing a cart of preschoolers down the cereal aisle.) SIDE NOTE from me...one time in Albertsons a lady said, "OH, I have twin boys...you just wait until they start kicking one another!"

10. "When one cries, does he wake the other?" (No. Twins cannot hear each other's cries because they all communicate with their special telepathic language only.)

9. From a perfect stranger: "Were they in the same sac?" (Hello. Nice to meet you, too. Will you be sharing your gynecological history with me as well?)

8. "Are they developmentally behind?" (Well, let's see. They're 3 years old and thus far, all their graduate school applications have been denied. We'll get back with you on that.)

7. "How do you do it?" (Haven't you seen the Nike commercials?)

6. Said by a dentist: "I was shocked that they didn't have the same bite patterns." (They are two different human beings, not clones.)

5. "You must be so busy." (Are you volunteering to clean my house?)

4. Said to a mom of fraternal twins who are different sizes, have different eye color and different face structure: "How do you tell them apart?" (I just look at them.)

3. "What do you do when they both cry at the same time?" (Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I go to Starbucks.)

2. Said to a mom of boy/girl twins: "Are they identical?" (Uh. Not exactly.)

1. Only one comment could be voted No. 1. The choice was clear. Drum roll, please. After a stranger had been informed that the toddler boys were twins, she asked a simple question: "Are they brothers?" (Enough said.)



2 comments:

Ms. Nally said...

Call me crazy, but I want multiples when I'm married and ready for kids. Maybe I've watched too much Jon & Kate Plus Eight, I don't know. These 5-year-old FRATernal ;P twins in my family have declared me their fave cousin and the feeling is definitely mutual. All of the multiples I know are smaller than most of their peers and super-adorable.

mom said...

I have heard most of these when I was with you. But you are nice and don't utter the smart comebacks. I would be sorely tempted--if they ask the stupid questions, chances are the smart retorts would escape them too, right?